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Strength in Sitting in Silence

Bonjour, mon ami!

Have you ever walked into a holiday-party gathering and feel like people were judging you? Have you ever felt a relative's eye-balls burn a laser-pointer hole in the back of your head? Those judge-y little eyes just following you from bar, to table top, to couch. And boom, you're sitting right next to the person you didn't want to sit next to because they keep staring at you and they have somehow lured you into their web of questions. You know this relative has been gossipy or has disapproved of you before and now they have questions, or just "want to check in."

Trust your core. Before you engage in any discussion, ask yourself, "does this person deserve my presence, my energy?" If the answer is no, then don't feel any obligation to linger. Go ahead and sit next to them, but if they ask an obnoxious question, silence is a powerful answer. You can either walk away (with no commentary) or you can simply sit there and sip your cocktail and be silent, as in, I will not acknowledge this. There is strength in sitting in silence.

Some people may consider sitting in silence as rude, but it is not. You are training the person, who you don't like, how to treat you. You and your feelings matter. Remember it doesn't matter what they think of you, this is about what you think of them and you get to decide how to incorporate them into your life.

If you don't like them and you think they are rude, silence is simply sitting still. You are not popping off negativity and you are not lying through your teeth to keep appearances. You are simply meditating in silence with other people observing and learning how to treat you. If the people around you are really hard-headed, walking away in silence is also a very powerful statement. Yes, it will leave them bewildered, but that's not really your problem.

If you'd like to spend the time to break it down for someone, please do. But do so gracefully. I would suggest listing your boundaries as if you're reading a very objective recipe. Say it calmly, non-judgmentally, do no evil, simply state the facts. If the relative cannot follow the recipe honey, then simply move on.

We all have a finite amount of time on this earth, but we don't know what our time limit is. So I suggest that you spend the time you have with the non-toxic people you love as best you can. Don't let one toxic person make you miss an entire holiday-party gathering. They don't control your destiny. If you want to see your people, see your people, and avoid that one toxic person. Gather #COVIDSafe.

Yours truly,

#MerryMarie #ChristmasSprite

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