I Like Patterns

Bonjour, mon ami! Sometimes I think I’m psychic, but I’m not. I’m just very, very observant. I like patterns. I study patterns, I like design, and I like beauty. I appreciate other people who appreciate things that are beautiful just because they are beautiful to look at. Life is about joy and awe, isn’t it (#ChildrenAreTheLight)? I am also very, very observant and very, very anxious because these are the exact qualities that helped my ancestors survive (#YepISaidIt). What, like you didn’t know!? Yep, my insanity is also the same thing that has kept my family alive all this time (#ABlessingAndACurse). This is why I always feel like I’m split in two. This is why I relate so much with Harley Quinn, except she ain’t me (#CanIBeTheNextBlackHarleyQuinnPlease)? That’s my story, but with a white girl face on it, without all the severe damage, but I feel damaged enough to relate to her character. (#HarleyQuinn) is the perfect representation of me and my generation: She is confused about who she is because everyone keeps telling her how she should behave. She needs to be a good little girl. But she doesn’t want to sit still. She wants to have fun and play with the boys and be roudy. Why do the boys get to have all the fun!? (#FuckToxicMaleCulture, #BeBetter) I like to tumble and play rough, but I also like to glam bitch! That’s why I like shit like (#FightClub, #BadGirlsClub, #RealHousewivesOfEverything) because all of us really want to fight #ToxicMaleCulture! It keeps our boys down too. Why the fuck is it so toxic!? Gee, I don’t know maybe because it’s left over from slavery and oppression (#FuckYouAnxiety) – Dude! Oppressive voices – get out of my head! (Oh Lord the voices are back again, and pray! 🙏🏾) Oh, yeah, she has voices in her head too. I also live way too close to political everything and politics is just religion all confused and tied up without soul. Ya’ll lost God in your faith, honey. Politics cannot be your faith. You need more than that, luv. Also, I feel like Elle Woods who fled to Washington, DC, but without the fancy law degree. But she’s a blonde bitch too (#SmartIsTheNewSexy). To be clear, I do not want to play the black Elle Woods (#FuckPolitics). (#HarleyQuinn) is also instinctually good at recognizing patterns. She studies people, their every move so that she can understand them. By doing so she becomes less fearful because she’s listening to their love language. The reason she and I can be (#QuiteVexing) is because she can always dial in and find that one thing that makes you tick. And if you piss her off, she will twist the switch to blow your fucking head off (#TeeHee). Dude, please don’t piss me off. Remember, I’m trying to be happy and it takes a lot of work to stay sane.

She also goes from normal to what society dubs as (#Crazy), but really, she is in love and free. She wants to live life to its fullest and I’m down for that (#NamasteBitches). Like I said, I like patterns. I connect dots, weird fucking dots, and that makes me feel crazy. But I’m not crazy because when I listen to my inner voice, my intuition, I understand things better. And the dots are the little lessons in my life that I struggle connecting until finally a dot connects, and then I feel a little fucking psychic. But I can’t say that I’m psychic because then (#FuckYouSociety) you’ll say I’m crazy. But I’m not crazy, that’s just more toxic (#DickEnergy). Can’t you read us society? Let’s shed the old and bring in the new age of enlightenment – duh! Get wit it, dude!?

This is all the sage advice that I sprinkle here and there throughout the day, but know one wants to hear me except for the ones who want to hear me. People who truly listen to my full message hear me and then I feel less constipated (#GirlsFart). I see my people's stories everywhere and slowly, but surely I will see more faces like me being black, female, and strong, bitch! (#WatchMen, #WakandaForever) We are your backbone, America! (#RespectUs) The people who didn't hear it before, but then finally get it, may find me to be (#QuiteVexing, #NobodyCares). Yours Truly, #MerryMarie #ChristmasSprite